Raft Sinks Background to Danger. Ha Ha.

Sometimes Dad has no sense of humor. I ate his entire beloved box of Cap'n Crunch just so I could say when he asked why I did it, "I guess I'm just a cereal killer." He responds with, "Just for that, Mr. Wisenheimer," (uh-oh. When he calls me that, I know I'm in for it) "it's another George Raft movie for you."

Well, this one is called Background to Danger (whatever that means), a wartime (World War II, for those of you who ain't historians) spy thriller with a good cast, despite the presence of George Raft.

Turkey's a neutral country, ya see, but Germany's trying to get Turkey involved in the war, and the Germans being no-good, backstabbing, stinky Nazis, are not necessarily committed to playing this one on the square. There's some bogus war installation photos circulating, and it's George Raft's job, as a super-cool American agent, to prevent these pics from being published in the newspapers (yes, this movie was made way back when there were newspapers), and forcing the Turks entering the war as Nazi allies. Or some such foolishness.

I read somewhere on the Internets (where everything is true), that George Raft insisted his character be changed from an ordinary Joe to a secret agent. Bad move, because his being an ordinary citizen would have increased the suspense and intrigue (his background to danger, so to speak), and would have fairly explained his many bone-headed blunders. But as a secret agent, he'd make a pretty good falafel salesman. He's always getting konked from behind on the noggin by the bad guys, who are very adept at getting the drop on him, except when he's running away like a little girl. Ha! Some two-fisted he-man. Would John Payne or Dennis O'Keefe, geniune hard-guys, just to name two, run away from the Nazis like scared babies? I think not.

Like I said, despite George Raft, who delivers his lines as flat as a Kansas highway, there's plenty to like: Sydney Greenstreet makes a good heavy (ha ha. I bet I'm the first to ever say that), Peter Lorre is very funny, and the movie moves along at a very brisk pace, what with all the running, and gun pulling, and car chasing, and whatnot. But watching George Raft is torturous.

So after it's over, Dad asks me what I thought of the movie. I just shrug my shoulders, not wanting him to know that he won this round.  "Good, Mr. Wisenheimer. Because there's another movie we're gonna watch called A Dangerous Profession. With George Raft. Looks like a pretty good picture."

Alright, Dad, I promise. I'll never eat your Cap'n Crunch again.

Take that for not bein' on the level, you dirty Nazi!