Grounded

I keep telling my mom that I don't like beans in my chili, but what does she do? She puts beans in my chili! How many times have I mentioned it? Countless.

So we sit down to dinner the other night, and as she places the bowl in front of me, she says, "Here's your chili just the way you like it. With beans!"

But I don't like beans in my chili, I say. Since when? she says. Since forever, I say. But you've always liked beans, she says. To which I replied, "There's only one kind of bean I like: lez-beans!"

Man, I never saw my mom so mad. Not even that time I filled her shampoo bottle with honey. She ordered me to march to my room, which I did, like a stormtrooper, and that did not make her happy, either, and she told me that I would be grounded for a week, and if I thought I'd spend the entire time in my room watching Bruce Campbell movies, I'd have another thing coming. Ouch!

So here I am, stranded in my room, with no human comforts except for basic cable, which sucks. Mother , how can thee be so cruel?

However, I did see an X-Files episode the other day that was extremely awesome. And you know who was in it? Bruce Campbell!

 

The awesome Bruce Campbell